A New Chapter.

I came to a big realization pretty recently: I discredit myself.

Here’s what I mean;

I’ve found it hard to show that I am proud of things I can do, things I create, because I tend to think others will view me as being prideful or arrogant for saying what I can do or showing that I’m able to do something well, or, God forbid, that I’ll start to get a big head in the process of just sharing in what I’m good at with the world.

Here are the facts.

I am good at singing. Like I’m actually good at singing.

– I sang all throughout elementary, junior high and high school, a high school   choir kid if there ever was one, took vocal lessons for over 6 years and was classically trained by two incredible voice coaches, one who happens to be an opera singer with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and the Lyric Opera of Chicago, was going to pursue Music Ed and Vocal Performance as a career until God completely changed my mind (that’s another story for a different time), and I’ll be auditioning for my church’s worship team pretty soon (which I’m really excited about!!)

I’m good at writing.

– I have two poems published in an online student publication, I’m working on a poetry book that is currently 83 pages long, and I performed slam poetry at an open mic night in from of European strangers while studying abroad.

But I tend to think that people will think me boastful or prideful for showing and sharing what I’m good at with the world. I’m not good at giving myself credit for what I’m capable of doing.

I have been self-deprecating for a long, long time.

And it’s not like…being humble, honestly. It’s feeling unable to say or do what you know yourself to be good at.

And I realized that it’s because whenever I tried to share things that I know I’m good at in the past, people have shut me down, criticized me, told me that I’m not good enough, or that I should engage in my talents, but quietly and without any fanfare.

BUT,

I have chosen to not care anymore what people think.

I want to be proud of the things I create, and I will show it.

I will claim the talents that God has given me, engage in them, share them with the world, not be ashamed or bashful about them and give God the glory for those gifts if I get recognition for the things I’ve created – not myself.

So look out world – Liv’s coming for ya. Get ready.IMG_4695

 

 

 

You Are

I want to preface this by saying that I don’t always share my poetry, but there have been some words floating around in my head for sometime now that I can’t seem to shake, so I’ve decided to write them down and share them because they feel like the kind of words that other people might want to read, may even need to read. So here we go.

You Are

You Are
breathing,
something we often take for granted
exhaling what you don’t need
which is useful to something else
exchanging sustenance for sustenance
a polite and mutual transaction

You Are
skin,
layers of a story years in the making
bumps and scrapes and bruises
and scars
no longer able to be seen,
sometimes still able to be felt,
sometimes still too fresh to ignore
and sometimes painful in a way that makes breathing hard
but
you are
breathing,
something we often take for granted

You Are
color,
a multitude of hues
various shades of reds and blues
that run through your veins
making the insides of you
look like a moving picture,
fueled by the intake of other colors,
that get their own fuel
by that exhalation of what you didn’t need
and then,
they get broken down,
to supply
to restore
to build into that story of yours
layer by layer
that has been years in the making
and it’s all because
you are
breathing,
something we often take for granted.

You Are
bone,
a collection that formed a beautiful masterpiece,
some parts of which are stronger than concrete,
which should make breaking one nearly impossible,
but somehow
it happens anyway
and the worst part
about a broken bone is
not knowing
how much time it will take to heal
and wondering
what that time could have been spent on
but that wondering can lead to time spent on
realizing that you’re not the author
of that story of yours
years in the making
fueled by those colors
created by that polite and mutual transaction
that started when
you began
breathing,
something we often take for granted.

You are
breathing,
You are
skin,
You are
color,
You are
bone,
You are
sound,
beauty,
strength,
and love

You are
You are
You are,

So be.