I came to a big realization pretty recently: I discredit myself.
Here’s what I mean;
I’ve found it hard to show that I am proud of things I can do, things I create, because I tend to think others will view me as being prideful or arrogant for saying what I can do or showing that I’m able to do something well, or, God forbid, that I’ll start to get a big head in the process of just sharing in what I’m good at with the world.
Here are the facts.
I am good at singing. Like I’m actually good at singing.
– I sang all throughout elementary, junior high and high school, a high school choir kid if there ever was one, took vocal lessons for over 6 years and was classically trained by two incredible voice coaches, one who happens to be an opera singer with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and the Lyric Opera of Chicago, was going to pursue Music Ed and Vocal Performance as a career until God completely changed my mind (that’s another story for a different time), and I’ll be auditioning for my church’s worship team pretty soon (which I’m really excited about!!)
I’m good at writing.
– I have two poems published in an online student publication, I’m working on a poetry book that is currently 83 pages long, and I performed slam poetry at an open mic night in from of European strangers while studying abroad.
But I tend to think that people will think me boastful or prideful for showing and sharing what I’m good at with the world. I’m not good at giving myself credit for what I’m capable of doing.
I have been self-deprecating for a long, long time.
And it’s not like…being humble, honestly. It’s feeling unable to say or do what you know yourself to be good at.
And I realized that it’s because whenever I tried to share things that I know I’m good at in the past, people have shut me down, criticized me, told me that I’m not good enough, or that I should engage in my talents, but quietly and without any fanfare.
I have chosen to not care anymore what people think.
I want to be proud of the things I create, and I will show it.
I will claim the talents that God has given me, engage in them, share them with the world, not be ashamed or bashful about them and give God the glory for those gifts if I get recognition for the things I’ve created – not myself.
So look out world – Liv’s coming for ya. Get ready.